Why Being Kind to Yourself Is a Form of Strength

My husband once sent me a photo of a basket filled with beaded bracelets, each a different color and each representing a particular kind of power. He asked which one I wanted. I immediately gravitated toward the bluish-gray beads.

When I learned the associated power was “Power to Be Kind,” I liked it even more. This one was for me.

Crystals and minerals have been associated with energy, healing, and protection across cultures for centuries. Whether taken literally or symbolically, I’m drawn to the meanings we assign to objects—and the quiet reminders they can offer during difficult times. We all need support now and then, especially when navigating change.

After more than twenty years as a counselor, I’m moving in a new professional direction, and I’m also newly married. These transitions have stirred anxiety and familiar triggers, reminding me how often I need to pause, breathe, and consider the kindest thing to do or say—particularly to myself. Let’s just say this remains a practice, not a destination.

When my husband brought the bracelet home, I took it out of its small pouch along with the folded paper describing its power. When I unfolded it fully, the message read: “Power to Be Kind to Yourself.” Oh. That’s a different kind of power, isn’t it? And yes—I need that one, too. Maybe even more.

As a newly licensed mental health therapist at the age of 62, self-doubt and self-criticism can surface easily. It’s tempting to imagine there is a single “right” way to help people, or to feel pressure to meet invisible standards of competence and authority. At the same time, I bring decades of experience—particularly in career counseling—along with perspectives and strengths I’m genuinely excited to share. I came to see the bracelet’s message as a gentle directive: Be kind to yourself as you grow, learn, and do your best to be an authentic version of yourself, both professionally and personally.

This message also reflects the heart of my work as a therapist. I help clients develop the capacity to be kinder to themselves. Across conditions such as anxiety, depression, and ADHD, a common thread is relentless self-criticism. Many people live with a steady stream of negative self-talk—judgments that fuel shame and erode confidence. I often hear questions like, “What’s wrong with me?” or assumptions that struggling means they are failing in some essential way. A quote I once heard captures this dynamic well: “You don’t heal first so you can love yourself; you love yourself so you can heal.” This is why challenging negative self-talk often needs to precede change.

My interest in self-kindness is not only professional; it’s deeply personal. I have a long history of working toward self-acceptance and addressing shame. I know firsthand the suffering that comes from being at war with yourself. Being kind to yourself is not indulgent or weak—it is a form of inner stability. It means having your own back, assuming the best about your intentions, and allowing room for imperfection.

Another quote I recently encountered speaks to this process: “You grow into the woman your younger self would run to for protection.” When you practice self-kindness, it’s like offering a warm hug to that younger part of yourself that needed safety and understanding. Over time, that gentleness helps loosen the grip of harsh self-judgments and old wounds that keep us stuck or small.

Messages arrive in many forms. The message on that bracelet was powerful because it came at exactly the moment I needed to hear it. It sparked insights I now use both personally and professionally. Each time I notice it on my wrist, I pause and remind myself of its simple directive: Be kind to yourself. Some days, that pause is the most powerful thing I do—and one I encourage my clients to practice as well.